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The Ultimate Birth Partner Checklist: 20 Ways you can support your Partner in Labour
Wondering how can a birth partner help during labour? Spoiler: You don’t have to deliver the baby (leave that to the professionals), but you can be an absolute rock throughout the labour journey. Here’s how:
What is a Birth Support Partner?
A birth support partner (also known as a birthing partner or support person) is someone chosen to provide emotional, physical, and mental support during labour and giving birth. This person can be a partner, friend, relative, or a trained doula—and their job is to keep the birthing person calm, comforted, and empowered throughout the birth.
Whether you’re planning a natural birth, an induction, or even a C-section, a supportive birth partner can make a huge difference. From reminding your partner what's in the birth plan, to packing the hospital bag checklist, your presence matters. The more prepared you are, the more confident and helpful you’ll feel.
Before Labour
1. Know the Birth Plan - Read it, understand it, and advocate for it if needed. Be your partner’s voice when she can’t speak up.
2. Time Contractions - Download a contraction timer app so you’re not guessing when to call the hospital.
3. Be Calm + Confident - Even if you're nervous. A steady presence is everything.
4. Get the Bag Ready - Make sure the hospital bag is packed and in the car (with snacks!). (don’t forget what to pack in the hospital bag—snacks, water, lip balm, chargers, spare clothes, etc.).
5. Handle the Logistics - Fuel in the car? Route to the hospital? Babysitter for the dog? Sorted.
During Labour
6. Be Present - Your full attention. No phone scrolling. No “I’ll just duck out quickly.”
7. Offer Touch + Massage - Light touch, lower back pressure, hip squeezes—if she’s into it. These birthing partner tips are helpful during contractions.
8. Encourage Movement - Help her change positions, walk the halls, or bounce on a birthing ball.
9. Keep Her Cool (Literally) - Cold face washers, sips of water, lip balm—labour is hot, sweaty work.
10. Talk Less, Support More - Sometimes silence and a held hand is all that’s needed.
11. Say the Right Things - “You’re doing so well.” “I’m so proud of you.” “You’ve got this.” (Avoid: “Are you sure it hurts that much?” 🙃)
12. Protect the Vibe - Dim the lights, play her birth playlist, ask visitors or staff to step out if it’s too much.
13. Be Her Advocate - Speak up if she’s too tired, wants the room cleared, or needs a break.
14. Stay Flexible - Birth doesn’t always go to plan. Be the calm when things change course.
After Baby Arrives
15. Be the Hype Crew - Tell her she’s amazing (because she is).
16. Skin-to-Skin Contact - If she can’t hold the baby straight away, you can.
17. Take Photos (With Permission) - Capture that first magic moment—but don’t get in the way.
18. Help with Baby’s First Feed - Offer water, adjust pillows, hold her hand.
19. Be the Gatekeeper - Gently manage visitors and protect quiet bonding time.
20. Look After You Too - You can’t pour from an empty cup. Snack, breathe, reset—so you can be the support she needs.
How Can a Birth Partner Help During Labour?
PSA: Your job isn’t to “fix” things—it’s about holding space, staying present, and showing up with love, patience, and respect. Your encouragement can shape her birth story in the most meaningful way.
The more educated and prepared you are—from packing the hospital bag to knowing the stages of labour and giving birth—the more confidence you'll have to be helpful in real, practical ways.
And honestly? Being a great birth partner can change the whole experience- for both of you.
Expert Advice from the Pros
“We want you to be hands on, we want you to be helpful - my biggest tip would be keeping her at home for as long as possible and the way to do this as a support person is making sure you yourself are educated about labour and birth.” – Monique Maitland, Founder, The Middee Society
“I like to see a partner that’s really involved. Be present - DON’T be in the corner scrolling on your phone, get over there - get out her water, pat down her forehead and just be really present.” – Dr. Hugh Porter, Obstetrician, Sydney Babies
“It’s so important for the partners to talk to the birthing woman prior to having the baby, to suggest different things that they might like you to do to support them in the birth. Have a list you’ve both talked about that you can refer back to.” – Sophie Walker, Australian Birth Stories
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A birth partner can play a big role in easing pain during labour by offering both physical comfort and emotional reassurance. They can gently massage your back or shoulders, apply warm or cool compresses, and remind you to breathe slowly and deeply through each contraction. Helping you change positions, keeping you hydrated, and offering encouraging words can also make a huge difference. Beyond physical support, their calm presence can help you stay relaxed and focused, making the entire experience feel a little more manageable.
During contractions, it helps when your birth partner stays calm, offers reassurance, and reminds you to breathe. Simple words like “You’re doing amazing” or “You’ve got this” can be powerful. Physical comfort, like holding your hand or applying gentle pressure to your back, can also make a big difference.
Yes, your birth partner can play an important role in communicating with doctors and nurses, especially when you’re concentrating on managing labour. They can express your preferences, clarify medical information, and ask questions to help you stay aware of what’s happening. This kind of support ensures your voice is heard and your birth experience aligns with your wishes as much as possible.
A birth partner provides emotional support by staying calm, attentive, and encouraging throughout labour. Simple gestures—like holding your hand, helping you breathe through contractions, or offering kind words—can make a huge difference. Their steady presence helps you feel reassured and supported, while also creating a sense of comfort and safety during one of the most intense and meaningful moments of your life.
It’s perfectly normal for a birth partner to feel nervous or unsure, especially if it’s their first experience. The best way to prepare is by learning together—attending antenatal classes, reading about labour, and talking openly about any fears or expectations. During labour, staying calm, offering reassurance, and being present can make a huge difference. If things feel overwhelming, it’s okay to take short breaks, breathe, and lean on the midwife or support team for guidance. What matters most is showing up with care and confidence, not perfection.
