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The Best (And Worst!) Advice 172 Australian Mums Have Ever Been Given
Updated October 2026
By One Fine Baby Editorial Team
If there's one thing you can count on when you're pregnant or have a new baby, it's that absolutely everyone has something to say about it. Your mum. Your mother-in-law. Your best friend who had a baby six months ago. The lovely (but slightly overenthusiastic) stranger in the supermarket. Suddenly, everyone is an expert on how you should sleep, feed, settle and raise your baby.
And while some of that advice is genuinely wonderful, the kind you'll remember long after the newborn haze has lifted, other suggestions are enough to make you want to scream into a pillow.
So, we decided to ask the people who know best.
In May 2026, we surveyed 172 Australian mums from the One Fine Baby community about the best and worst advice they'd received during pregnancy and early motherhood. We wanted to know what actually helped, what made them roll their eyes and what they really wished people would stop saying.
And the results? Well, let's just say there's one particular piece of advice that might be ready for retirement.
The worst advice new mums have ever been given
Most parenting advice comes from a good place. But as our survey revealed, there's a big difference between offering support and telling an exhausted new mum what she should be doing.
Here are the comments Australian mums told us they could happily live without.
23% of respondents who named unhelpful advice
Ah yes. The classic. The piece of advice that has been passed down through generations of well-meaning relatives, friends and strangers. And according to our survey, it's officially the most frustrating advice new mums receive.
Of the 133 mums who shared their least helpful parenting advice, almost one in four nominated this particular gem.
Because while sleeping when your baby sleeps sounds wonderful in theory, who's going to eat lunch, have a shower, wash the bottles or tackle the mountain of laundry?
As one mum put it, "What if the baby doesn't sleep? When will I eat and shower and go to the toilet and wash my clothes?"
Another agreed: "My baby never slept for long during the day, which meant a lot of extra parenting hours. So when she DID sleep I preferred to use that time to have a coffee or eat!"
Fair enough, really.
2. "There's only one right way to do things"
14% of respondents
If there's one thing motherhood teaches you pretty quickly, it's that no two babies are the same.
Yet 19 mums told us that rigid parenting rules, strict routines and unsolicited instructions about the "right" way to do things were among the least helpful advice they received.
One mum summed it up perfectly. "Anything that assumes all children respond the same."
Another was equally unimpressed by advice from people who believe their way is the only way.
Because what worked beautifully for your sister's baby, your neighbour's baby or your mother-in-law's babies 30 years ago might not work for yours. And that's okay.
13% of respondents
Seventeen mums told us they'd received unwanted advice about leaving their baby to cry or worrying that holding them too much would create bad habits.
For many, these comments were particularly difficult to hear when they were still finding their feet as new parents.
Every baby is different, and parents deserve support rather than pressure when it comes to responding to their little one's needs. For personalised settling advice, your child and family health nurse or GP is a good place to start.
4. "Back in my day..."
11% of respondents
We all know someone who starts a parenting story with these four little words.
And while there's plenty to learn from previous generations, today's mums aren't necessarily looking for a running commentary on how things were done decades ago.
As one mum told us, "Comparing the present day to 'back in the day'. The world has changed so much, it doesn't always relate anymore."
8% of respondents
Just you wait until they start crawling. Just you wait until they're walking. Just you wait until the toddler tantrums begin. Sound familiar?
For mums already navigating pregnancy, sleepless nights or the enormous adjustment of having a newborn, being told that things are only going to get harder isn't exactly reassuring.
One mum explained: "When someone says wait until they will be crawling or walking or running like it's the worst thing to say to a new parent who's already finding it so hard."
And really, why are we so determined to warn new parents about every difficult stage before they've even had a chance to enjoy the one they're in?
Feeding advice also made an appearance, with 12 mums mentioning unwanted opinions about how or how much their baby should be eating.
So, what's the best advice for new mums?
Thankfully, it wasn't all doom, gloom and unsolicited opinions. When we asked mums about the advice that had genuinely helped them through those early newborn weeks, a lovely theme emerged.
The best advice wasn't about getting everything right. It was about asking for help, being kinder to yourself and remembering that you don't have to do it all.
1. Ask for help (and actually accept it!)
17% of respondents
This was the most common piece of helpful advice for the newborn stage, and it's one we think every new mum deserves to hear.
Because accepting help doesn't mean you're not coping. It means you're human, and you've just welcomed a tiny person who needs an extraordinary amount of your time and energy.
One mum shared: "Take help when it is offered. It doesn't mean you are failing, it means that you are human, life is changing and you cannot do everything for everyone. And that is ok."
Another had a wonderfully practical suggestion: "Everyone has this big urge to help you and this is how you gain your village by letting them. Just send someone your grocery list or a few favourite recipes, or a pile of laundry."
Consider this your official permission to let someone else fold the washing.
2. Lower your expectations
13% of respondents
Not every day with a newborn is going to be productive. Some days you won't make it out of your pyjamas. Some days the biggest achievement will be getting everyone fed.
And according to the mums we surveyed, that's absolutely fine. "Perfect parenting is actually not good. Good enough is good." Or, as another mum beautifully put it: "Some days it's enough to just survive the day."
A reminder that deserves a permanent spot on the fridge.
3. Let the housework go
12% of respondents
The dishes can wait. The washing can wait. The perfectly tidy house you used to maintain before having a baby? That can definitely wait.
At least, that's what plenty of mums told us. "No one is coming over to see fresh sheets or if the dishes are done. Rest and let others help." And another: "Your house will be a mess, you'll get a lifetime to clean it."
Although, as we'll discover in a moment, not every mum agrees with this one!
4. Rest whenever you can
12% of respondents
Notice the difference between this and "sleep when the baby sleeps"? Rather than telling mums exactly when they should be sleeping, this advice encourages them to prioritise their own wellbeing wherever possible.
Maybe that's a nap. Maybe it's sitting on the couch with a hot cup of tea. Maybe it's handing the baby to your partner and taking a shower without an audience.
Whatever rest looks like for you, it matters.
5. Remember, it's just a phase
11% of respondents
When you're in the thick of sleepless nights, cluster feeding and wondering whether you'll ever feel like yourself again, it can be hard to imagine things changing. But they do.
And for many mums, being reminded that the difficult stages won't last forever was exactly what they needed to hear. "Every day is like pressing the reset button, no matter how hard it gets you start fresh the next day."
Other favourites included savouring the little moments because they grow so quickly (11%), trusting your instincts (10%) and being kinder to yourself (9%).
One mum shared a reminder we particularly loved: "That it is okay to feel all the emotions that you go through and that being frustrated at times does not make you a bad mother."
Before the baby even arrives, the advice starts rolling in. But when we asked our community what had actually helped them during pregnancy, the answers were refreshingly simple.
Rest was the most popular response (14%), followed by listening to advice but ultimately doing what feels right for you (12%), and remembering to enjoy the experience because it goes quickly (11%).
And some of the individual responses were too lovely not to share/ "Go lie down, we got it." Four words. Absolutely perfect.
Another mum shared: "You've been tired and poor before, you're prepared for that, but you're not prepared [for the] love and joy you'll experience."
And one response was a beautiful reminder that sometimes the best thing you can say to a pregnant woman isn't advice at all. "Thank you for the sacrifices you're making for our family."
Excuse us while we get a little emotional.
Plot twist: Some advice made BOTH lists
Now, here's where things get interesting. Some of the advice mums loved was almost identical to the advice other mums couldn't stand.
Take sleep, for example. "Rest while you can" was the most popular helpful advice during pregnancy, mentioned by 23 mums.
Meanwhile, 26 mums nominated some version of "sleep now, you'll never sleep again" as one of the most annoying things they'd heard. And six mums actually named "sleep when the baby sleeps" as the best advice they'd received.
So what's the difference? We think it comes down to how you say it, and whether you're offering genuine support or simply another thing for a new mum to worry about.
"Sleep now, you'll never sleep again" feels like a warning. "Go lie down, we got it" feels like someone looking after you.
And then there's the housework. Twelve mums said being told to let the housework go was some of the best advice they'd received. But three mums nominated the exact same sentiment as unhelpful.
One explained why: "Not to worry about the dishes/cleaning... I feel so much better in a clean space! (And the guests saying this could have helped and done them lol)"
And honestly, she has a point. Perhaps the best advice isn't to tell a new mum to ignore the dishes.
It's to pick up the tea towel and do them for her.
What should you actually say to a new mum?
If there's one thing we took away from these 172 Australian mums, it's that new mothers don't necessarily need more advice. They need to feel supported, listened to and understood.
And sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is stop offering suggestions and start offering help. Here are a few simple swaps worth remembering.
What to say to a new mum instead
Sometimes the best thing you can offer a new mum isn't advice at all. It's a little understanding and some practical help.
Instead of "sleep when the baby sleeps", try "Why don't you have a rest? I've got this." Swap "just you wait until..." for "How are you finding things at the moment?" And rather than sharing how things were done "back in my day", simply ask "What's been working for you?"
Skip the comments about her growing bump and ask how she's feeling instead. And if you're tempted to tell her not to worry about the washing, why not offer to put a load on?
Because sometimes the most helpful thing you can say to a new mum is "I've got this. You go have a cuddle."
About the One Fine Baby Mum Survey
The One Fine Baby Mum Survey ran from 8 to 26 May 2026, with 172 mums from the One Fine Baby community taking part. Respondents included 78 pregnant women, 88 mums with babies or older children and six women trying to conceive.
We asked mums about the best and worst advice they'd received during pregnancy and early motherhood, along with the comments they wished people would stop making.
Not every respondent answered every question, so percentages are calculated from the number of mums who answered each individual question. Responses were grouped into common themes, with some answers appearing in more than one category.
The findings reflect the experiences of our One Fine Baby community and are not intended to represent all Australian mothers.
FAQs: The Best and Worst Advice for New Mums
What is the worst advice for new mums?
According to our May 2026 survey of 172 Australian mums, "sleep when the baby sleeps" was the most commonly nominated piece of unhelpful advice, mentioned by 23% of respondents who answered that question. Other unpopular suggestions included rigid parenting rules (14%) and being told not to pick up a crying baby (13%). Many mums felt that advice which didn't consider their individual circumstances was particularly frustrating.
What is the best advice for a new mum?
The most popular advice for new mums in our survey was to ask for help and accept it when offered, mentioned by 17% of respondents to that question. Other favourites included lowering expectations, letting the housework go and finding opportunities to rest. Above all, mums appreciated reassurance that they didn't need to do everything perfectly or manage every part of early motherhood alone.
What should you never say to a pregnant woman?
Unwanted comments about a pregnant woman's body are best avoided. In our survey, 30% of mums who answered the question mentioned comments about their size, weight or bump as particularly unwelcome. Warnings about sleepless nights and predictions about how difficult parenting would become were also unpopular. Instead, ask how she's feeling, offer encouragement and let her decide what she'd like to share.
What should you say to a new mum who is struggling?
Start by listening rather than immediately offering advice. A simple "How are you really doing?" can mean a lot, particularly when followed by a practical offer of help. You might bring dinner, do a load of washing or offer to run an errand. Our survey found that Australian mums particularly valued being reminded that it's okay to ask for help and that they don't need to have everything figured out.
What should you write in a card for a new mum?
Keep it warm, personal and encouraging. Something like "You're doing an amazing job, and we're so lucky to have you in our lives" or "We're here for anything you need, including dinner, groceries or a little time to yourself" can mean more than a lengthy message. Our survey found that reassurance and practical support were among the things new mums appreciated most.
Why is unsolicited parenting advice so frustrating?
Even when it's well-intentioned, unsolicited parenting advice can leave new mums feeling judged or overwhelmed, particularly when they're already navigating a huge life change. In our survey, mums frequently mentioned frustration with one-size-fits-all rules, comparisons to previous generations and advice that didn't reflect their baby's individual needs. Often, what parents really want is someone to listen, acknowledge their experience and offer support without judgement.
