We think our 4-year-old is ready for school next year, but daycare doesn't: are we wrong?

My husband and I got a bit of a rude shock last night.

We have been visiting ‘big schools’ recently, with the intention of starting her in 2024. When she starts, she will be 4 years old for a few weeks, before turning 5.

This falls within the legal age to start school. Our family and anyone who spends any decent time with Eva believes she is ready for big school - everyone except her daycare.

I e-mailed her daycare yesterday to formally advise them of our intention to start her at big school in 2024, and could they please absorb her into any preschool-style readiness programs they are running.

The response I received floored me.

The owner of the daycare responded by saying she was “very surprised” by the decision to send her next year, as developmentally she ‘doesn’t think she is ready for big school’. She listed her ‘speech, and emotional and social development’ as the key factors that she felt meant she wasn’t ready.

Now, I am not one of those head-in-the-sand, ‘my child is perfect’, kind of parents. Eva did have some delayed speech issues when she was two, due to fluid in her ears, which we worked with an ENT to rectify. Since then, she has flourished. Speaking near perfect, perfectly okay with separation, socially she thrives, and any emotional setbacks I attribute to being normal for her age. We still have a year until ‘big school’ starts, and she is so excited at the prospect of starting. She literally cried when we left the ‘big school’ tour earlier in the week.

So, this is where it becomes tricky.

The daycare is a wonderful resource to measure your child’s progress, and check-in with the educators. I always take what they say to heart, and am guided by them enormously.

But I just feel they have got it wrong here.

Many people in my grade at school had March/April birthdays, my own husband has a February birthday and wasn’t held back. Isn’t this normal? 

She hits all of the kindergarten markers

Since the e-mail came through from the daycare, I have looked up the indicators that show a child is ready to start school. These seem to be:

• Children should know most of the letters in the alphabet, especially the letters in their name, as well as some of the letter sounds.
• Being able to count to 10 and 'count' objects
• Being able to cut with scissors or at least hold them correctly
• Children should be able to sit and listen to a story and then recall that story
• Children should be able to write their first name, or be willing to try
• Children should know the basic colours and shapes.
• Children should be willing to share with friends and problem solve.
• Children should be able to be somewhat independent, and socialise well with other children.

My question is, how do you make a decision about when you should start your child in school? What are the benefits to starting them early, and what are the benefits to holding them back?

As Eva is my first child, the confusion level is at an all time high! 

So how do you decide what is right for your child?

Get a 4-year-check-up

This part is tricky. While the advice of your daycare and preschool is imperative, it's also worthwhile booking in your child for their 4-year check-up with your local child and family health centre. At this point they will look at all of the questions you've answered in your child's blue book and hold an 'interview' with them, to make a determination regarding their development.

Enrol, and monitor

The other thing to consider, is just enrolling in the schools that you're interested in, and keeping an eye on your child's progress throughout the year between their 4th and 5th birthday. You can always decide much later on in the year that you think they should be held back, and if you do decide to send them, you'll have a place at school ready for them.

Give the potential school a ring

One more thing worth doing is giving the 'big school' you are considering sending your child to a quick call. Ask them how many of the enrolments will be 4-turning-5, and how many will be 5-turning-6. Also ask them what some of the key markers indicating school readiness are, by their standards.

At the end of the day, all that any parent wants is to do the best for their child. We want to make sure they thrive, are stimulated, encouraged, and progressing. We want to ensure they aren't stagnant, but not left behind either. It's just one of the many tough decisions need to make. And no matter what you choose, as long as you feel it's the right decision for your child, you can't go wrong.