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A sleep consultant shares three things every new parent should know
Becoming a parent is such a wonderful, dizzying, incredible, gut-wrenching, all-encompassing experience. It will change you forever, in the best way - and in ways that can feel really difficult to manage. It’s a shift in your entire world, thrown off kilter so rapidly, you may not even realise what happened. That’s why having a baby sleep guide can be such a lifesaver, giving you support and direction during those overwhelming early months.
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Babies love sleep (trust me they do)
This incredible experience, however profoundly life-changing, is always worth the hard parts, and one of the hardest parts to get your head around is the lack of sleep. It’s inevitable, as you and your little love navigate this new environment. The days will feel long without a good bout of sleep to break them up, and while this is a season we need to accept and appreciate - we can also seek a little guidance to ensure we are setting everyone up for sleep success. Renowned sleep consultant ‘Sleep By Steph’ very kindly offered up three things every new parent should know, in the hopes of encouraging sleep and better understanding baby’s needs!
Take it away, Steph!
Babies need lots of sleep
Every baby I meet who is having difficulty with their sleep is overtired and simply not getting enough total sleep every 24 hours. It’s a huge issue and very tricky for parents to make sense of because there is a lot of conflicting information out there about how much sleep babies really do need. It can be hard too because overtired babies who are in an overdrive state can look very alert, awake, active and like they don’t need sleep, when in fact, it’s the exact opposite, they need a lot more sleep they are getting. In my experience, all babies of a similar age need a similar amount of total sleep every 24 hours to feel well rested. And they need a lot, across the ‘night’ stretch (with feeds if needed) and across the day stretch too, with the number and length of naps varying at the different ages.
Babies love sleep (trust me they do)
When babies aren’t sleeping well, it can appear as though they are ‘resisting’ and ‘fighting’ sleep. It might even look and feel like they hate sleep. I want every parent out there to believe me when I say, “your baby loves sleep just as much as you do”. Sleep is a basic human function. As humans, we are designed to sleep and sleep well. Babies who don’t sleep well and who might look like they ‘hate’ sleep are struggling because there are ‘roadblocks’ getting in the way, disrupting their natural sleep, feed, and wake cycles. When the roadblocks are removed, by setting up all the key sleep foundations (i.e., correct day and night, feeding and nutrition, environment etc.), babies start sleeping the way nature intended them to sleep… ‘like a baby’.
Stepping back is OK
Many babies have trouble falling off to sleep, and falling back to sleep, because they aren’t ever given the time or space to wind down and go through the process on their own in their safe, cosy sleep space. Absolutely, as parents we like to be there and assist our little ones in all areas of their lives. However, when it comes to sleep and settling, the more parental intervention, distraction, and disruption (well-meaning of course), the harder the falling off to sleep process can be. For the most part, it really is a case of ‘less intervention is more’ and stepping back can be the best thing you do to allow your baby the opportunity to drift off to sleep using their tiredness and their own little settling skills. This can be especially helpful if you’re navigating the newborn witching hour, when babies are often fussier and harder to soothe.
If you’d like more information, or would like to book an appointment to discuss your situation with Steph, please visit her website. You can also read our blog about the cost of a baby sleep consultant.
Newborns sleep a lot — typically between 14 to 17 hours a day — but not all at once. Their tiny tummies need frequent feeding, so expect short sleep stretches of 2–4 hours at a time. Over the next few months, your baby’s sleep will gradually become longer and more predictable, especially at night. Every baby is different, so focus on creating a calm routine rather than following strict schedules.
In the first few weeks, babies don’t yet know the difference between day and night. You can gently teach this by keeping daytime bright and active — open curtains, talk and play during feeds — and making nighttime quiet and calm with dim lights and soft voices. Over time, these cues help your baby’s internal clock adjust so they start sleeping longer at night.
A bedtime routine doesn’t need to be complicated. Try a simple, consistent pattern like a warm bath, gentle massage, feeding, and quiet cuddles before bed. The key is repetition and calmness — it helps signal that it’s time to wind down. Keeping bedtime predictable can soothe your baby and make sleep easier for both of you.
In the first few weeks, yes — most newborns need to eat every 2–3 hours, even overnight. Your paediatrician will guide you on when it’s safe to let your baby sleep longer stretches, usually once they’re gaining weight steadily. Once your baby is a bit older, you can let them sleep longer if they wake up naturally to feed.
It’s perfectly natural for newborns to want to sleep in your arms — it’s a familiar and comforting space that reminds them of being in the womb. To ease the transition to independent sleep, try placing your baby in their cot when they’re sleepy but still awake, helping them learn to drift off on their own. Techniques like gentle rocking, swaddling, or using soft white noise can recreate the soothing sensations they’re used to. With patience and consistency, your little one will gradually feel more comfortable sleeping in their cot or bassinet.
