How to survive the first 6 weeks postpartum: a realistic guide

I want to start this article by saying that while the first six weeks of a newborn baby’s life should not be scary, I do want to be realistic about the emotions you may feel, and the headspace you may find yourself in.

Let's get the important stuff out of the way first:

This is not a scare tactic, but more an educational action. PANDA is an incredible Australian resource that provides help with perinatal mental health and wellbeing. The number is PANDA National Helpline (Monday to Saturday) 1300 726 306.

When you call PANDA, we’ll provide a safe, caring and confidential space for you to talk through any concerns you may have as an expecting or new parent, or support person.

Now that you have that, we can get into it.

I want to acknowledge that everyone’s experience with a newborn is different. Some people have sleepy babies that seem to be content and willing to snooze anywhere, others have babies who seem to be constantly unsettled, and others are somewhere in between. As a mum to two colic-newborns, I fall into the 'constantly unsettled' category - and it was HARD.

The one bit that’s the same for everyone

No matter how your baby is when they enter the world, odds are it’s a massive shock to the system for the parents. Suddenly, your life turns from a somewhat unstructured, even maybe spontaneous flow of hours and days, into a time consisting of clock-watching, record-taking, constant googling, and endless worrying.

Last week you were carefree. This week you are completely responsible for keeping another human being alive, around the clock. There is no reasonable ‘time off’ in the foreseeable future.

You’ll be establishing feeding (if you’re breastfeeding) and it can feel very intense

Many new mothers do not have terms like ‘cluster feeding’ explained to them. Basically cluster feeding is a time when your baby wants lots of short feeds over a few hours. It's normal and often happens in the early days of breastfeeding. It may seem like you are constantly feeding them, and you may feel like it’s because they’re not feeling ‘full’ and the quality of your milk is not good enough, but cluster feeding is a normal behaviour for your baby as they are trying to establish your milk supply. Like every other phase it will pass, and if you are ever concerned, you should always constant a healthcare professional or lactation consultant.

The days are long but the years are short

As someone with now 2 and 4 year old children, I can tell you that I now know this saying to be true. No doubt you’ll hear it from friends and family, and when you’re in the initial period after your baby is born, you’ll only feel that the days are long, very long, almost as if there is no new day starting - it is just one day blending into another.

But like every stage you will experience with your child, this monotonous, day-in-day-out roundabout of keeping a fully dependent child alive, will start to ease - and glimpses of the ‘old you’ will slowly return. You'll start to be needed less, and you'll gain more time to do what you want to do. It's invigorating the first few times you experience this. You still may sway from side-to-side when you're in line at the supermarket like you're soothing a baby (like I did), but it's all part and parcel of learning to venture back out on your own.

So, with all that in mind, what can we do to make the postpartum period easier to handle?

Have no expectations

Don’t put any expectations on yourself for those first few weeks. People who have been there before will tell you it’s like a haze, a blur of feedings, nappy changes and milestone moments. You are all figuring each other out, what you like, how you work together and what makes everyone feel happy. Don’t try and stretch yourself by booking in events, or visits, that kind of pressure is the kind of thing that can throw you all off kilter. Be kind to yourself, and your mind will thank you for it.

Accept the help

People will offer it. I urge you to take it. Even if it’s just a family member offering to mind the baby while you go for a walk and listen to a podcast, or take yourself off for a solo coffee. These things will help your mental health, as they will feel fresh and exciting in a time that is so enveloping.

Get outside

Fresh air can do wonders, and no doubt during these first few weeks and months of your baby’s life, the inclination is to stay indoors. But babies love movement. So why not head for a walk around the block, or around the beach? The air and vitamin D will be incredible for your mental health, and as long as you have your supplies on you, there’s no need to feel like you may be ‘caught out’ away from home. A good suggestion is to take the pram and a carrier with you, so that despite what your baby may want, you can keep them feeling calm and settled.

Join your local mothers group

Having a group of mothers who are at the exact same stage as you - is priceless. This is your instant support group, who you can text with a query anytime, share your learnings and celebrate your wins. You are navigating the same things as the same time, and there’s nothing better than having that kind of support during an otherwise difficult time.

Written by Olivia Mackinnon